Year of Random Musings
by iAMwhatIamK
Summary: A years worth of thoughts and tidbits straight from my mind.
1. Prolouge

Hi world, Ami here. So I decided I'd try something new this year, and we will see how this goes in the long run. Anyway, I've decided to do a 356 day challenge, writing a tiny bit every day. The following content will be posted weekly, and segments will be based on whatever pops into my mind first. Any further questions, ask me. If you wish to join me in my endeavors, I'll send you a link to the challenge. Catch ya later.


	2. Week 1: January 1-3

**January 1 – Suitably Warm**

Warm cups of chai tea and well-worn in sweaters

Gentle snow falling and piles of thick books

Fireplace crackling here by my side

This is a list of my fave winter things!

* * *

><p><strong>January 2 – Candy Apple Red <strong>

Foam curlers and pjs, innocence and giggles, candy apple red Lip Smackers painted on like divas (or clowns), simple days of childhood, lost too soon…

* * *

><p><strong>January 3 – I Didn't Go There<strong>

Dark, empty, malleable…

Deeper and deeper…

Winding, never ending…

Deeper into the black

Where all disappears…

Feeling…pain…life…

I didn't go there…

…not really…


	3. Week 2: January 4-10

**January 4 – Why Didn't It Happen to Me?**

Make it come out, it's too much, too much to bear

Need it out now

Desperate

Tear, rip, pain, sweet relief, grief, embarrassed, angry, pain

Never ending cycle

Needle pricks, razor dance, drug embraces, scars and scabs

Why this? I ask, looking at tangles of hair and bald patches,

Why this and not those?

* * *

><p><strong>January 5 – Shreds of Doubt<strong>

Trust, something precious, meant for those close to your heart and soul, something to be treasured

Something so easily broken, shattered like glass, hurting the giver like a twisted knife

Something not easily fixed, years of cautious glances and shallow relationships

Never again, you say, never again

For who can heal a broken heart, beaten and brusied?

* * *

><p><strong>January 6 – Can't Be<strong>

Babies don't die

Grandmas and Grandpas do, the old people at church

They die, not babies

Babies don't wear wires

Wires belong in toys or robots

They're not alive, not babies

Babies don't live at hospitals

At first, yes, but not years after

Newborns, not babies

So why are you there, people crying all around?

All the machines not making sounds?

And you are there, so still?

You can't be gone, right?

You're just a baby…

* * *

><p><strong>January 7 – Where Will It Be Found?<strong>

In a mother's eyes

A father's pride

The compassion of children

The embrace of lovers

The slow dance of the old

The giddy laughter of the young

The scarred hands of the Savior

Love…where is it found?

* * *

><p><strong>January 8 – Three Reasons<strong>

1. To safe myself from heartbreak

2. To show him that he was worth the wait

3. Because my Father wants the best for me

* * *

><p><strong>January 9 – Chance<strong>

Leave it up to chance, people say. Fate. Destiny. Chance. Call it what you will, but it's getting me nowhere fast. Lady Luck's never been a friend of mine. Good thing I've got a better friend, huh? Thing is though, it's had to let it all go to Him. I know He's got my heart in His hand, and loves me beyond belief, but it's hard to give up 'control'. It feels like I'm leaving up to chance…

* * *

><p><strong>January 10 – Essence of Living<strong>

To be living, but am I alive? Wake up, go to work, serve others, come home, eat, sleep, repeat. Where's the thrill, the purpose? When did life become routine? Like something I drift through, a random witness in an endless ocean. Am I alive, or just living?


	4. Week 3: January 11-17

**January 11 – Black Horse**

Hungry, the beast paws at the ground, stirring the dust at its feet. The rider clucks its tongue, unconcerned. Exhaling, shifting anxiously, staring with contempt at the wisps of dry foliage clinging to the unforgiving earth. The beast lets out an angry whinny.

"Peace," the rider says, patting his beast, raising his head. "Our work is done here." He digs his heels into the creature's side.

And the third horseman's left desolation in his wake.

* * *

><p><strong>January 12 – Heartstrings<strong>

Tell me a story; a tale of how a child watched the world lose its color. Blues, reds, and yellows, fading to gray, black, and white. A world without color, without life.

Tell me how the child cried; how their heart broke, not for the lack of color, but for the life it took with it-delicate butterfly wings, dark autumn woods, meadowed hills.

Tell me how those cries reached your ears. How your heart ached for the child in the colorless void of a world.

Tell me of when you reached down and whispered in that child's heart. Deep and comforting, words of truth spreading through them like life's blood, echoing in their soul.

Remind me what you told them; the words that stopped the tears and brought hope to life

"Not cry, dear one. This home is only temporary. Your true home will be painted with more color, more life, than you can fathom. And there will be no tears, no sadness. And you will never be alone again."

Write this tale, this promise, on my heart. Etch it in me for the hard days, the days I long for home, to remind me someplace better is coming.

* * *

><p><strong>January 13 – Another Day<strong>

(Inspired by 'Another Side, Another Story')

'Just one more day,' I whisper, feet slapping the rain soaked pavement

'One more day by your sides, like all those times before,

Laughter and talk about nothing, the sun painting the sky red.'

'Just another day,' I whisper, rain hitting my face

'One more day, keep on going, you'll reach the end soon

And when this quest is over, then things will be right again.'

At a different time, in a different life, we may have been friends

But now blades clash, glistening in rain and sparse light,

Souls, hoping, praying, for just another day

* * *

><p><strong>January 14 – The Color Yellow<strong>

(to the tune of 'Pop goes the Weasel'; inspired by Chica from 'Five Nights at Freddy's' Series)

'Round the corner, down the hall

Here I come to get you

And when you think you're finally safe

BOO! A killer dressed in yellow

* * *

><p><strong>January 15 – Eyes That Can't See<strong>

You look at a girl

Smile on her face

Jump in her step

Never seeing beneath the mask

To a spirit, broken,

Tired of fighting

Playing a part to hide from the world

No, you don't see it

You think she has is together

That she's fine

So you push her down

Stab her with words and glares

Ignore the scars and beat the broken

If only your eyes could see

* * *

><p><strong>January 16 – Renovate<strong>

Abba, you see the beauty in my broken soul

You knit me together, hold me in your hand

You see the magnificence in the mess of my existence

Elyon, create in me a new fire

One that burns away the chaff

Purify me until I reflect your brilliance

And comfort me, El Shaddai,

As we fight to win this battle

* * *

><p><strong>January 17 – Chocolate<strong>

My drug of choice

So much goodness

Excellent with pretzels, fruit, peanut butter, or alone

Preferred as Reese's, Thin Mints…

Excuse me, I need some NOW!


	5. Week 4: January 18-24

**January 18 – Wild Child**

I won't take your crap

You have an issue, tell me,

I'll set you straight

Break the standards,

Some rules along the way

Kiss a stranger, drive 'til the road ends

Live on edge, with abandon

Taking life as it comes

Fall in love in a day

I'm a wild child

At least in my mind

* * *

><p><strong>January 19 – Driving North<strong>

Weaving through mountain foothills

Past small farms and towns you'd miss if you blink

Cows outnumbering people

Snowmobile crossing signs

Broken down homes that have seen better days

Down a long drive, turn right, and my heart soars

Dirt road, lined with wooden buildings like the Wild West

Hill crested with a picturesque white church

Echoes of laughter and friendships forged in trials

I'm here, my home away from home

* * *

><p><strong>January 20 – China<strong>

"Careful," the woman whispers.

The child watches, frozen in place, as the infant is placed in their lap. The living china-doll replica sleeps, lips moving quietly, little fists curled. Eyes wide, the child holds their new sibling as the parents watch smiling. Something shifts in the young mind. A love, a responsibility, blossoms.

In a voice, hardly above a whisper, the child says, "No matter what, I will always love you, protect you, be there for you. Never forget that."

The babe sighs in their sleep, bringing a smile to the child's face.

* * *

><p><strong>January 21 – It's time to DANCE<strong>

Empty house, crank those tunes

Sing as loud and off key as you want

Spin and jam like you don't care

It's your time; time to rock it out!

* * *

><p><strong>January 22 – Don't Laugh<strong>

Abstinence

That word's a joke, right?

I mean, who does that?

Who really cares about that anymore?

Believe it or not, I do

Yup, hard to believe

But here's the thing

At any point, I become like you,

But you can never become like me

* * *

><p><strong>January 23 – Rosemary<strong>

Simple beauty

Delicate, natural

Softly adding color to the world

* * *

><p><strong>January 24 – Something New<strong>

Emeralds stare into amethysts

Eyes shift, heat rises to her face

As he brushes hair from her pale face

Familiar smirk laced with uncertainty

This is new for them both, after all

Feeling, affection, love

Neither speak, savoring, hiding in the silence

While their eyes speak untold volumes

Slowly, he backs away, leaving her

She's not…their not…quite ready for this

But he's patient, and heaven knows she is

It's only a matter of time


End file.
